


Sleeping With The Dark

by negickapologist (neganstonguething)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Dirty Talk, Fingering, M/M, comic spoilers maybe, if you tilt your head right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 10:42:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11079927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neganstonguething/pseuds/negickapologist
Summary: Rick knows when it started, and when it should have ended. But it's still going, and now that everyone knows, Rick's got to work something out before everything crumbles around him.A ton of porn slathered over a little bit of plot.





	Sleeping With The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> For imbadcode on Tumblr. They requested a canonverse oneshot in which Rick and Negan have been sexually involved, and then team Family finds out somehow and the shit hits the fan.
> 
> This fic came so naturally--I had a blast writing it. Thank you so much for commissioning me, and I hope you enjoy!

Rick’s biggest mistake in this entire engagement is not being completely honest with his people from the beginning.

In his defense, he wasn’t exactly lying. He’d just chosen not to come to anyone with the news when everything started happening. He hadn’t really thought much of it, because he honestly hadn’t expected it to go anywhere.

The first time was in Rick’s bathroom. Negan had followed Rick into his home on a particularly bad day, and Rick had been a little more terse than usual. He had made a comment about Negan following him into the bathroom to piss, and Negan had called his bluff by way of suggesting that, yes, maybe he will. Rick had made a jab about how relentlessly shitty of a person Negan could be, and quite unexpectedly, Negan had shoved him into the bathroom and roughly kissed him. Even more unexpectedly, Rick had reciprocated, and the end result had been the two men fucking roughly, with Rick’s legs spread over Negan’s shoulders and Negan buried to the hilt inside of him.

That in itself should have raised a red flag, and Rick had honestly contemplated telling Michonne what had happened. But he feared a negative reaction, and also silently hoped it’d be a one-time thing. He had still been struggling with his hatred for Negan, after all, and considering the two had parted quietly after their first tryst, he had figured it was just a quick release of months of pent-up tension and left it at that.

The second time was in the armory. Negan and his goons had conducted yet another raid of the already-mostly-empty gun supply, and Rick was angry yet again. As per usual, Negan countered the dark calm in Rick’s stormy eyes by getting into his face. Rick had normally been able to hold his own against this kind of move, but that day had been different. In a fit of rage, Rick had seized Negan by the throat and shoved him into the nearest wall. By some stretch of the otherworldly power Negan seemed to possess, he managed to break into fits of laughter, and then he had turned the tables. Rick remembers the man’s knee between his thighs, friction against his crotch, and then they were fucking up against walls and shelves, throwing one another around like sacks of potatoes.

Understandably, Rick found himself battling more emotional turmoil after that. Clearly, one time hadn’t been enough, and now that he had gotten another taste, he wasn’t so convinced that he was done. It didn’t help that Negan egged him on, either. The arm around his shoulder graduated to a hand on the small of his back or even in his back pocket. He made a habit of talking close enough that Rick could feel the heat of his words on his skin, and those dark eyes shamelessly looked him up and down almost habitually. It often infuriated Rick that he never seemed able to muster up the willpower to deny Negan what he so often solicited of him.

At first, it helped to tell himself that it was just release—that Rick was angry and needed an outlet and that fucking the tension away rather than killing Negan at present was a better idea. Under that mentality, two times escalated into three, and then four, and before Rick knew it, he had to use both hands to count just how much it had happened.

Even then, Rick wasn’t sure it was a good idea to come clean to anyone in Alexandria about what he and Negan were doing. He honestly wasn’t certain if Negan had told his saviors, even though he hadn’t been very subtle in his advances so far. From either side, it wasn’t exactly a good idea for anyone to know what was going on, especially since it wasn’t supposed to mean anything. It was just sex. A cheap thrill, and nothing more.

That thought was quickly subverted when Negan surprised Rick one day, by way of bringing him a bed. He had claimed it was so that they could actually have somewhere to get all horizontal together, but Rick had picked up on something else. The bed had been a gift, and even though Rick had insisted it go to Carl’s room, it had been a gift nonetheless. The sex that time felt slower and more deliberate, and Negan had been reluctant to crawl off the couch they had fucked on that time around.

It was at that point that Rick had known he needed to put a stop to…whatever was going on between himself and Negan. Because if Negan was going and developing an emotional attachment to Rick, it was only a matter of time before Rick did the same.

And maybe he already had to an extent. Rick was still spending hours debating just what had happened between himself and Negan a month into it starting. But…how to go about putting an end to it all was a strangely difficult thought.

At first, it wasn’t too challenging. It was just a matter of Rick being forward with Negan about everything. This needed to stop, and while he disagreed, Negan seemed to understand. Rick felt as if he were fraternizing with the enemy, and Negan got why that didn’t sit right with him.

_“I don’t think we’re enemies though, Rick. We sure as shit don’t fucking have to be…”_

Maybe part of what Negan said was true. Maybe they didn’t have to be enemies. To Negan, this whole thing was business—he felt as if he were doing the right thing for the Sanctuary by taking from other communities. This, Rick had deduced after months of exposure to Negan, and once he had decided the man was more misguided than sinister, he started to realize that he was quickly headed toward being in too deep. Negan wasn’t the enemy, but he was far from a friend, either.

Rick quickly discovered that not being physically involved with Negan was far more easily said than done. He was still Alexandria’s leader and he still answered to Negan. And just because he and Negan weren’t fucking anymore didn’t mean the asshole wasn’t still just as personally invasive as ever. It was something he did to everyone, and Rick found himself seething with jealousy that nobody else seemed to be swallowing down the urge to strip the man’s clothes off every goddamned time.

It lasted all of a week. Negan could tell Rick wasn’t faring well in his attempt to keep his urges to himself, and he made a point to bring it up. Negan was a royal asshole about it, too—teasing and being even more invasive than usual. Rick knew what he was doing. He wanted Rick to react violently, because a violent reaction was what had led to a sexual relationship in the first place.

The worst part was that Negan knew Rick would have eventually caved. That he not only had anger toward Negan to fight off, but sexual urges as well. And when Negan got up close and personal, Rick could picture everything he had deprived himself of all in that moment. He could smell the hearty scent of Negan’s leather jacket, taste his lips and tongue and the tang of sweat on his skin. He could feel Negan’s nails in his flesh, his cock filling him up, the delicious friction of his thigh against Rick’s crotch. He wanted him so badly that he almost couldn’t see straight.

And naturally, he gave in. It turned out to be simultaneously the best and worst decision he had made in a long time. Best, because his stomach flipped when he pulled Negan in for a long-awaited kiss, and his chest felt as if it were melting. Because goddamn it if he hadn’t gone and gotten himself feelings for Negan throughout this entire process.

It was the worst, because Negan reciprocated. Because they weren’t just kissing or fucking or relieving tension. They were touching and feeling and taking their sweet time. Negan’s fingers and tongue spent ample moments learning every inch of Rick’s body, and Rick responded in kind. And when he finally got the sensation of Negan inside him that he had been longing for, he clung desperately to Negan’s body like his life depended on it. And afterward, they stayed put, sinking to the ground together and engaging in languid, post-coital kissing and caressing.

Rick still wouldn’t call it a relationship, but even now, he knows it’s useless to try and put an end to it. So…here he is, sexually involved with Negan and unintentionally romantically interested in him.

There’s so much wrong with the entire picture that Rick is both sick with grief and crazy with longing. He’s never going to get the relationship he wants. Maybe there’s a chance Negan will one day look at him and tell him he wants to be with him, but that doesn’t mean shit in the grand scheme of things. It doesn’t do away with the fact that Negan has wives back home, or that they had both killed people that were important to one another, or that Alexandria couldn’t stand with Negan’s conditions and hope to survive. Rick doubts he’ll ever be able to convince the guy to lighten that condition.

…Or maybe he can. Maybe they can work something out. Maybe Rick can come up with some sort of trade agreement that looks good enough in Negan’s eyes to get him to comply. No more demanding that people ‘pay their taxes’, possibly under the promise that Rick can make sure that the mouths of everyone in every community are fed, and fed well. The Sanctuary can still lead its luxurious lifestyle, and people can all get along in the process. And maybe, just maybe, the thought of formulating a normal relationship with Negan wont’ be just some childish pipe dream that way.

That’s what has Rick and Negan where they are now, gathered up in his living room, with papers strewn across the coffee table, all sorts of notes scribbled on them. They’re close enough that their thighs touch, and Rick doesn’t mind when Negan takes advantage by placing a hand on his thigh. He does however, push said hand down closer to his knee every time it gets high enough to make Rick seriously contemplate pausing their meeting for a moment. Negan doesn’t seem to mind, though. He knows he’ll be getting his way soon enough.

“So, what’re you showing me here, Rick?” Negan questions, actually diverting his focus from getting frisky with Rick to the papers on the table. “Because I have to admit, I wasn’t fucking ready for a Come To Jesus Meeting today.”

Rick brushes the playful commentary away, in favor of more important matters. “Well, remember when I tried to break this…whatever it is off between us, and you said we didn’t have to be enemies?”

Negan shrugs.

“I agree.” Rick continues. “But with the way things are right now, that isn’t gonna happen.”

“Uh…” Negan cocks an eyebrow. “Last I recalled, you and I have been pretty fucking chummy, Rick. Enemies don’t typically screw one another’s brains out. We’re rivals at worst.”

Rick shakes his head. “And at best?”

“I don’t fucking know.” Negan answers with a frown. “Married or some shit. What the hell kind of answer are you expecting from me here?”

“I dunno.” Rick responds honestly. “But the thing is, this isn’t just about you and me. It’s about all of us. Alexandria, Hilltop, the Sanctuary…I can make this whole arrangement a hell of a lot easier for all of us.”

The look on Negan’s face tells Rick that he knows he’s about to be bargained with in regard to the ‘half your shit’ rule. Not surprisingly, he doesn’t look impressed. Rick imagines he’s not the first one to try and reason with Negan, though. At the very least, he knows the Sanctuary leader has enough personal interest in Rick to not feel like killing him.

God forbid he try that, because that would make Rick so wrong about him that it would be downright embarrassing. And at this point, Rick really doesn’t want all these feelings to be for naught.

“…Okay.” Negan sighs impatiently, waving Rick along. “Go on.”

“Well,” Rick mirrors his sigh, “why don’t we start a trade agreement? Each of our groups has somethin’ it’s better at than the others—somethin’ it can provide to everyone else. And Negan…Alexandria can’t keep goin’ on like this. We’re a small group, and you’ve made us smaller. I’ve got mouths to feed—my son and daughter are countin’ on me.”

Carl and Judith are an advantage Rick has in this argument. Negan has made the mistake of being human around them and getting attached to them. He doesn’t want to have a personal hand in their starvation…does he?

“Rick…” Negan groans, rubbing at his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “You’ve got to think about what the fuck you’re asking of me here.”

“No.” Rick steels himself, a little impressed by his own tenacity. “You’ve got to think about what _you’ve_ been askin’ of _me_.”

Rick knows he’s making a valid argument by the way he silences the typically mouthy Negan. The larger man has gone quiet and seems to be genuinely trying to listen to reason. Rick’s heart melts at the thought. Either way, he uses the silence to continue to plead his case.

“You can still be the big man in charge if that’s what this is about. I’ll let you coordinate everything, and be here to help if you need me. Just…” He places a hand on Negan’s thigh, expression hopeful. “At least think about it?”

Negan scowls, but relents. “I don’t fucking know…maybe I’ll give it some thought later.”

It’s closer to a ‘yes’ than Rick had been bracing for, so he’s a little more than delighted upon getting it. He makes that point clear by slumping against Negan’s side and releasing a long, relieved sigh.

“That’s good enough for me.” He says. “Thank you for hearin’ me out.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Negan laughs dryly, and then curls an arm around Rick’s waist and pulls him into his lap. “I hate that the word ‘no’ is harder to fucking say to you, Rick…”

Rick is elated. After spending so long hating Negan and then enduring the internal conflict with the fact that he might be falling for him, it’s nice to hear something that hints at the feeling possibly being mutual. Frankly, Rick will happily surrender to his feelings if it means everyone is going to get something good out of this.

“You’ll like that you said yes to this one.” Rick reassures as he straddles Negan’s lap. “Promise.”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“You know what I mean.” Rick chuckles, and then slides his arms around Negan’s neck and dips in for a kiss. Negan doesn’t speak then, instead focusing on wrapping his arms more tightly around Rick’s waist and pulling his body down against his own hips—hips that rock upward hungrily.

At this point, the response is so natural that it borders on instinct. Rick bears his hips down to grind them against Negan’s, and the kissing grows more heated. Negan’s fingers grope at Rick’s shirt, pulling it up just barely as his body rolls up to meet his partner’s. While Rick knots his fingers tightly in Negan’s hair, he parts his lips into the kiss. Their breathing grows ragged as friction between their groins and the hot slickness of tongues sliding together becomes their only focus.

“Pants. Off.” Rick orders, the only demand he’s ever safely been allowed to make of Negan. “Now.”

Negan’s compliance comes in the form of him arching up against Rick’s body and working open his belt, sliding his pants and boxer briefs off in one smooth movement.

“Hope that means you’re about to suck my dick, because fuck…”

Rick just rolls his eyes. “Keep talkin’ about it and the answer’s gonna be no.” Too bad for him that he actually enjoys the way Negan feels in his mouth, to the point that he’s probably going to do it regardless of what Negan says.

“Mmm…” Negan chuckles, a low, weighty rumble that goes straight to Rick’s cock. “Baby, you get down there and let me fuck your mouth a little and I’ll make it up to you.”

“That counts as talkin’ about it.” Rick says as he shucks Negan’s coat off his shoulders and tugs impatiently at the white shirt beneath. Once he’s got Negan completely naked in front of him, he leans back in and closes his mouth over the other man’s collarbone, sucking relentlessly.

“I can’t help it.” Negan answers breathily. “You’ve got no fucking clue just how goddamn good you look with my dick in your mouth. It’s like you were made to suck me off, and I could come on the spot thinking about it.”

“Don’t.” Rick demands. “In fact, stop talkin’ altogether.” He allows his fingers to roam freely down along Negan’s chest and stomach, past his growing erection, and to his thighs, which he eagerly pushes open.

“You got it, baby.” The last thing Rick sees is Negan’s smirk and the slow drag of his tongue over exposed teeth, before he drops to his knees in front of the couch and takes hold of Negan’s cock.

The very first time Negan asked Rick to suck him off, it had been rough and needy. They’d been operating on approximately five minutes before they needed to meet up with the rest of Negan’s group, and Negan had used two of those minutes fingering Rick straight to orgasm. Of course, he’d gotten himself all hot and bothered in the process, so he’d talked Rick into helping him out. The end result had been Negan’s hips thrusting into Rick’s mouth, both hands in his hair, and enough dirty talk to script a full-length porno.

And the depraved, Negan-crazed side of Rick had loved it. He still does. It’s part of the experience to have Negan so caught up in ecstasy that he can’t control his words or actions, and it’s even better when that side of him directs them into rough, erratic fucking, because Negan’s vulgarity is a goddamned gift from heaven in the middle of a particularly heated romp. And when he gets rough, he makes a habit of digging his hands into Rick’s hips or sinking his teeth into his shoulder, and it’s so intense and erotic that Rick all but comes apart underneath him.

So, he’s got no problem getting straight to work. He likes the taste of Negan’s skin, and the way the larger man’s hand instantly comes to rest on the back of his head. He sucks the tip into his mouth, blue eyes seeking out Negan’s hazel ones while his tongue swivels around the head and teases the tip. Negan’s deep voice rumbles in his throat as he groans his approval. Rick chuckles around him, before he drops down and takes in all of him.

It’s easy now, swallowing Negan’s cock like this. He and Negan have been through this enough that it’s practically a goddamn science. Rick swallows, comes up, bobs down, hums, and actually fucking _sucks_ on him, and he knows he’s doing a damn good job because he can feel Negan reaching full mast right in his mouth. As his tongue slips out of his open mouth and drags along the pulsating vein on the underside, he smirks up at Negan.

“You should teach a fucking class on this shit, Rick…” Negan moans. Rick feels the man’s grip on his hair tug upward, and he takes that as his cue to stand up. He drops his pants as he does so and crawls onto Negan’s lap.

“You’re keeping the shirt on?” Negan questions, looking amused.

“Don’t need to take it off.” Frankly, Rick’s painfully hard at this point, so he doesn’t possess enough patience to be bothered with the shirt anyway.

“You took mine.” Negan laughs.

“That was before things started getting’ good.” Rick retorts, before he rocks himself down onto the other man, his fingers once more embedded in the guy’s hair. “Fuck me, Negan.”

He wants it now more than he ever has. Now that there’s a chance this whole crazy thing might work out, and that his people might stand a chance at survival.

“Say that again.” Negan practically moans, voice just as hungry and ravenous as Rick’s is.

And Rick is happy to oblige. It’s not shameful because it’s just the two of them. Rick is plenty okay with belonging to Negan if Negan is willing to hear him out about the arrangement that might save not only Alexandria but the other communities currently in Negan’s grasp.

“Fuck me, Negan.” Rick says, sliding his hand down to one of the other man’s. He lifts that hand up and takes two fingers into his mouth, making a display out of sucking on them. He likes the brush of the rough skin along his tongue, and he knows he’s sealed himself a victory when Negan’s eyes roll back and he lets out a low, rattling groan.

“Goddamn, you’re so fucking dirty sometimes.” Negan growls, pulling his fingers from Rick’s mouth and eliciting a wet ‘pop!’ sound in the process. “All begging for me to fuck that tight ass raw. Hope you don’t feel like walking today, Rick.”

“Your mouth keeps writin’ checks, Negan.” Rick sneers, and his snarky words are rewarded when Negan curls his fingers around his ass cheek, squeezing harshly.

“You’re right. Guess I should be cashing them, huh?” Negan licks his lips, fingers teasing Rick’s entrance. “I’m gonna make you fucking scream.”

In the course of the many trysts Negan and Rick have had, Rick has learned a vast array of things he didn’t realize he liked during sex. Sleeping with Lori or Jessie had been fun, but more emotionally driven than physically. Negan, a very physical being, encourages Rick to try new things, and when those long fingers push their way inside of him, he realizes for the umpteenth time just how much he likes Negan—any part of him—inside him. He bears down, impales himself on Negan’s fingers, and sighs pleasantly at the sensation of fullness. He arches his spine and throws his head back when Negan finds his prostate, damn near losing it when the man starts stroking repeatedly at it.

In the end, it’s Rick who pushes things along. He tugs Negan’s fingers away, and then settles himself over his cock. One hand steadies the man’s erection while Rick lowers himself down, and once he’s got Negan sheathed all the way in to the hilt, he leans in and aims a sharp bite right onto Negan’s lower lip.

“Make it _rough_.”

And that’s exactly what it is—rough, unrelenting sex. Negan snaps his hips up so hard that his ass comes up off the couch and Rick recoils. He bounces shamelessly atop his partner in turn, mouth hanging open in delight. Negan’s got one hand on Rick’s hip and the other wrapped around his cock, and as he strokes him hard, he fucks him harder.

Without regard to the surroundings, the two men go to town on one another, all breathy moans and violent sounds of skin on skin. Negan strikes Rick’s prostate dead on and Rick digs his nails so hard into Negan’s scalp that he knows he draws blood. But he doesn’t give a damn, because he knows _Negan_ doesn’t give a damn. It feels too good right now for either of them to care. No doubt Negan will be whining about it later, though.

“Oh, fuck…” Negan hisses, and Rick can tell by how erratic his movements are becoming that he’s close. “Rick…baby…”

“I know…” Rick groans along with him. “Me too…”

“You’re so good.” Negan growls. “You’re so fucking good. Come for me, Rick.”

And Rick does just that. With the scream Negan had promised to earn from him, Rick comes apart, body clenching tightly around Negan, as he spills his release all over the larger man’s chest. Almost instantly afterward, he feels the warmth of Negan’s orgasm inside him.

And then they’re silent. Silent, and panting, and kissing. Rick disregards the fact that he still has his shirt on and pushes himself tight up against Negan’s chest. He cups the larger man’s face in his hands and tips his head and just melts into the kiss. When he pulls back, it’s long after the afterglow has faded and Negan has started to go limp inside him.

“…Gets better every fucking time, Rick.” Negan slurs as Rick climbs off of him and the two start getting dressed. “You’re a man after my heart.”

Rick resists the urge to kiss him again.

As well as the longing to ask him to stay the night. Alexandria isn’t ready. If Rick is going to drop the bomb, he needs to do so less abruptly. As far as he knows, everyone else still views Negan harshly.

This isn’t going to be easy, but under the prospect of Negan giving Rick’s proposition some thought, there’s at least a chance.

But Rick’s optimism fades when Negan leaves. He sees it all the way back to Negan’s truck, Lucille in hand—people are staring him down. Saviors and Alexandrians alike, Rick is suddenly under a much heavier amount of scrutiny than before.

He realizes with throat-clenching anxiety that he and Negan had fucked in the living room of his house and hadn’t exactly been quiet. Had they overheard? Had someone seen?

Why hadn’t he been more careful?

But, Rick supposes, now is as good a time as any to finally spill the beans.

“I’m callin’ a meeting.” He says, trying to keep the sternness in his voice. “Consider it a Q&A, at the church. Five minutes. I’ll answer whatever questions you have.”

And while he isn’t one hundred percent sure that the scrutiny he’s receiving is because people know about himself and Negan, he has a very strong feeling that it is. They don’t have to have witnessed them fucking to know, honestly. They’d walked out of that house together, and Rick knows he probably looks disheveled from their romp, and everyone is suddenly infinitely more quiet than they had been before.

All signs point to them knowing, and he supposes he’s going to find out soon enough.

\- - - - -

Clearing the air is a lot harder than Rick expects. He, as promised, opens the floor to any questions, but instead, he’s met with a whole entourage of different stares. From Rosita’s cold glare to the disbelief on Michonne’s and Carl’s faces, everyone is trying to decide if what they’ve somehow discovered is really true.

And Rick doesn’t blame them. To them, he’s essentially sleeping with the enemy. Hell, he’s still trying to convince _himself_ that he’s not. It seems so surreal for him to go from loathing Negan and dreading his presence to wanting him to hang around in Alexandria for longer than he already does.

“Is someone gonna say somethin’?” Rick pushes, the anticipation getting the better of him. There’s more silence, before Father Gabriel opens his mouth.

“Is it true?” He asks simply, calmly. Strangely, Rick doesn’t see judgment in his eyes. “You and Negan?”

Welp, there’s the confirmation. Rick now knows that what’s been going on between himself and Negan is out in the open. Even if Gabriel had been the only one to know at first, everyone in the church is aware now, so there’s no going back.

“How’d you find out?” Rick dares to ask.

This time, it’s Rosita who speaks up. “One of his guys said something. Acted like you two were boyfriends. So how long?” Unlike Gabriel, she looks positively livid. Understandably so, considering she and Abraham had been a thing for most of the time Rick had known her. She’s no doubt still got some lingering feelings for him, and even if they aren’t romantic, it’s hard not to be attached to a person after that long.

“I’ve lost track of time.” Rick admits. “A few months, maybe.”

“…Why him?” Aaron pipes up. He looks less angry than Rosita, but more hurt and confused. “Rick—he killed people, and he’s draining us of things we need.”

“You do realize he’s the bad guy, right?” Rosita adds. “What’s your angle, here? I’m kind of hoping you’re just playing Devil’s Advocate here to get to him somehow, but I’m not so sure at this point. Whose side are you on?”

“That’s not fair.” Michonne shoots Rosita a warning glare. “He hasn’t done anything to show he’s siding with Negan.”

“What?” Rosita retorts. “Like screwing the guy doesn’t count as siding with him?”

“At least hear him out.” Michonne tries, and she’s rewarded with a very reluctantly compliant Rosita, who crosses her arms over her chest and waits for an explanation.

“It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.” Rick says first, trying his best to ignore the vast amalgamation of frowns and scowls and hurt looks spread across the faces of those inside the church. “It just…happened one day.”

“ _What_ happened?” Eric pipes up. “He ask you out or something? Bring you _flowers_?”

“Come on.” Aaron takes his boyfriend’s hand, trying to calm him down. “Just…listen, okay?”

Eric glares, not unlike Rosita, but waits for Rick to continue nonetheless.

“We just…had sex.” Rick feels oddly embarrassed saying it like that, but he also knows it needs to be said. “It was supposed to be a one-time thing.”

“But it wasn’t.” Daryl suggests, his eyes locked on Rick’s. Rick isn’t entirely sure what to take from his best friend’s expression, but he also doesn’t blame him. This is a lot to take in. Negan killed Glenn and Abraham, and Rick is probably the last person Daryl expected to be sleeping with him.

“…No.” Rick concedes. “It’s happened a lot, and at first, it didn’t mean anything.” He gives the others a chance to speak, but it doesn’t happen this time. Just a lot of expectant stares. So, Rick continues.

“I tried breakin’ it off, and he was gonna let me, but…I caved. Guys, I know he’s supposed to be the enemy, but…”

“Do you love him?” Gabriel asks, still calm. It unnerves Rick.

“…Jesus, Gabriel.” Daryl rolls his eyes. “That even matter at this point?”

“Yeah, it kind of does.” Rosita snaps. “Guy’s in love with Negan, that means we’re as fucked as we can get.”

“No…it doesn’t.” Rick groans. “I don’t know about love, but I don’t hate him anymore. Far from it.” He rests back against the altar, releasing another sigh. “Guys, we killed forty of his men. I’m not sayin’ it was alright for him to kill any of our people, but—”

“Are you _really_ defending him right now?” Tara’s face is wracked with shock and betrayal.

“No.” Rick snaps, but then, he softens. “…Maybe a little. I’m just sayin’, he has a reason to be upset with us. We aren’t that different from him in the grand scheme of things.”

“We aren’t demanding half of everyone’s things, Rick.” Michonne’s expression is steely—something Rick has always admired about her.

“I know.” Rick nods. “And I may have a solution to that.”

“Oh, this’ll be good.” Sasha quips from next to Gabriel.

Rick frowns. “Just hear me out.”

Again, everyone falls silent. Rick immediately moves to try and explain. “I spoke to him today about a barter system. We provide for him, but he also provides for us. The same for Hilltop, and for everyone else.”

“…What’d he say?” Michonne asks.

“He said he’d think about it.” Rick responds. “I know it’s not a solid yes, but it’s a chance. We could survive, and no one else has to die for it to happen. That’s what we all want.” By the time Rick finishes speaking, his tone is hopeful. He wants nothing more than for his people to be on his side with this. Negan isn’t by any means more important than them, but this is a chance that everyone could come out okay.

Of course Rick doesn’t want Negan dead at this point. That goes without saying.

“That’s all fine and dandy, Rick,” Tara interjects, “but it doesn’t take away from what he did.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Rick agrees. “But like I said, we killed his people, too. In their sleep.”

The room goes quiet, everyone all pensive stares and furrowed brows. Rick doesn’t realize he’s been clenching his jaw until now, but he releases the tension and resumes speaking. “Just…wait this one out, guys. Please. Trust me, I think I’ve got somethin’ here.”

“Why should we trust you?” Rosita snarls. “You’re so brainwashed by him, it’s giving me secondhand embarrassment.”

Everyone else seems a little more patient. Carl speaks up this time.

“How long do we have to wait?”

“I’ll ask him the next time he visits what he’s decided.” Rick answers. “If it’s a yes, we can start plannin’ right away.”

“And if it’s a no?” Carl’s expression is pointed. He trusts his father, but is understandably a little betrayed.

Rick swallows. “Then we figure somethin’ else out.”

“Then we _kill_ him.” Rosita snaps.

“Then we _figure somethin’ else out_.” Rick narrows his eyes. He’s still the leader. He still makes the rules. And he has a good feeling about this. “This isn’t the world we used to live in. We’ve all come together after doin’ things we didn’t all agree on. We’ve killed people. If we want this all to work out somehow, we’ve got to swallow our grudges all over again and move the hell on. It’s the _only_ way.”

“…Fine.” Michonne responds, her tone relaxed. “We’ll see what happens.”

“I sure hope for your sake he says yes.” Tara frowns.

\- - - - -

Rick doesn’t blame any of his people for not trusting either him or Negan during the course of the next week. He’s come up with a possible solution, but in the process, kept a huge secret from them all. He can’t help but think that if he’d told Michonne when he’d initially thought to, this whole thing would be a little less tense. At the very least, he’d have had Michonne on his side.

But he didn’t, and now, it’s _very_ tense. The week that follows the reveal is a quiet and uncomfortable one. Most everyone doesn’t speak to Rick. It isn’t that they’re avoiding him—Rick knows it’s just that there’s nothing to say. They have already said their part and that’s all there is to it. At this point, all Rick can do is play the waiting game.

The worst part is that Rick eagerly awaits Negan’s return for more than just the fact that he’s going to get an answer. He misses the guy’s stupid face, and that proud smirk, and the feeling of Negan’s…well, everything…up against his skin. He wants to kiss him, bury himself in Negan’s scent, and fuck himself straight to hell with him all over again.

So, needless to say, when Negan arrives, Rick is eager. Even amidst all the stares from everyone else, he’s eager. It catches him off guard when Negan pulls him into his arms upon arrival and kisses him right in front of everyone, but he can’t stop himself from returning the kiss with everything he has. It’s stupid, but maybe they’ll catch a glimpse of Just how gentle Negan can be.

When they pull apart, Rick clears his throat, and then turns his attention back up to Negan.

“Did you think about it?” He asks, loudly enough that everyone can hear. He can tell by the expression on the taller man’s face that Negan knows what he’s talking about.

“I did.” Negan answers, eyebrows raised high. It makes Rick nervous just how cocky he looks right now.

Alexandria and the Saviors alike are all quiet, waiting, anticipating Negan’s answer.

“...And…?” Rick pushes.

“And it’s a long shot.” Negan responds. He turns his attention to everyone else, and Rick can tell he’s gauging for a reaction. “I’m not making any promises, because this is going to take a _shitton_ of fucking work, but I’m willing to hear you out and see if that brilliant mind can find some way to make this work. But you’re gonna have to do some _serious_ fucking convincing here, Rick.”

Rick swears he sees Michonne break into a grin. He too is smiling. He doesn’t miss a beat as he takes Negan’s hand and starts leading him back to his house. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week. C’mon, we’ve got plannin’ to do.”

“Among other things.” Negan purrs.

Negan spends a lot more time at Alexandria as a result of Rick’s proposition. But the good news is that he’s actually doing a lot of listening to what Rick has to say. He still hasn’t given the man a solid yes, but he makes a habit of pointing out all the points to the offer that he likes, and those that he dislikes. Rick works hard to come up with a compromise, though. And in the process, Negan doesn’t demand a damn thing from Alexandria. A whole week where Alexandria can keep the supplies it finds is a godsend.

Rosita and Sasha still watch Rick with disgust, but they’re less harsh with their words. Even the two of them seem to see a little progress in Rick’s attempt to convince Negan to agree with his offer, and with Negan spending most of his time in Rick’s living room rather than out in the open, being an asshole to everyone instead of just Rick, they seem relaxed enough.

Midway through the second week of revising his plan, Rick asks Negan to spend the night, and he does. Rick still doesn’t have a bed, but he and Negan have no problem getting caught up in one another on the makeshift mattress Rick has in his room, all sweaty bodies and panting and moans for the better part of the night, and then their morning is spent showering together. They spend their shower flinging soap at one another, and even though Rick knows he’s got a long way to go, it almost feels like a relationship.

As he, Negan, Carl, and Judith sit down for breakfast, Rick has hope. He breathes a sigh of relief when Carl asks Negan to pass the salt.


End file.
